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Thursday, November 12, 2009

Movies by Mickey 2: The Proposal (it's a long one!)

From Guestblogger Mickey:
"I watched The Proposal last night starring Sandra Bullock and Van Wilder and it has completely confirmed two of my suspicions: First, This is the BEST Van Wilder sequel since 2008's Van Wilder: The Freshmen Year starring Kristen Cavallari (in what was her first of hopefully hundreds of films).  Second, Americans will watch absolutely ANYTHING with that old lady from Golden Girls. Seriously, look up this woman's profile at IMDB.com, She's been in every movie EVER since the dawn of cinema. She's pretty much been doing movies since they first started doing movies and they were black and white, silent and girls had armpit hair. ALL OF THEM. 

Anyway, this film (which obviously should have been called Van Wilder 3: The Proposal in order to avoid confusion) is pretty straightforward. While they don't tell us exactly how much time has passed since the end of the first Van Wilder film we can safely assume it's been at least long enough for Van to get his act together, break up with Tara Reid, graduate, and become some hot chicks secretary. Seeing as it took Van Wilder over seven years to graduate college, I've determined Van is no more than 38 years old but he's still that fun loving guy we remember from the first film. Except now he has a budding career as a secretary to a cold hearted, soul crushing, Canadian immigrant, power executive played by a super hot Sandra Bullock. In order to give this film some depth the director obviously has to involve some sort of topical social commentary. Instead of choosing the gay rights debate or possibly global warming he chooses immigration because nothing adds to the romantic tension like the threat of deportation! I'm sure Mexican families sit down and watch this film and they are all like "Oh yeah, I totally relate to this woman's experience."      
           
Anyway, these two have to act like they are getting married so Sandra doesn't get deported to Canada and Van Wilder can get promoted. Most of the film is spent with Van Wilder playing hard to get because YOU KNOW that's how Van Wilder does it, that's how he gets ALL the ladies!! They take a trip to Alaska because that's where Van Wilder's family lives. For those of you who have always wanted to know where Van came from and how became the most popular kid on campus this is where the movie gets really interesting. It's a lot of great Van Wilder family history. I mean, did you have ANY idea Van Wilder was from Alaska? Or that he has a crazy grandma from Golden Girls that mocks Native American traditions because she grew up in a time when native Americans were placed on reservations and given yellow fever blankets? Or that Van was once engaged to some blonde lady (who wasn't Tara Reid)? All this and more is revealed in some light hearted family banter and subtle racism. By the end of the movie Van Wilder and Sandra Bullock fall for each other. Sandra doesn't get deported and immigrant families everywhere breathe a collective sigh of relief and return this film to a blockbuster that let them open an account with a fake drivers license."

2 comments:

meghan said...

The other blonde lady Van Wilder was once engaged to was probably Amy Smart. You know, from that time he went home for Christmas and was embarrassed that he used to be fat.

P.S. I love both Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock no matter what. Can't help it.

Benjamin said...

Remember when Van Wilder got a job at a Applebees lookalike restuarant in Metarie, Louisiana with that guy from the Mac commercials? And they showed their penises to eachother for kicks?Good times, good times.